I was having a writer’s block this week. I called my son who is about 13 and asked him to give me suggestions on what to write. He quickly responded, “Baby changes everything!” “What does that even mean?” I asked him. You see, our last born and the second lastborn have a couple of years difference.
Our first and second born have grown together for most of their lives. First, I thought that the statement was made as a joke. So how exactly did the baby change everything or anything for that matter? We had an interesting discussion. Two things stood out after the candid discussion we had.
We don’t pray together as often, and we no longer go out for movie dates. For many years, we had developed a habit where we would pray with the children everyday before they slept. They would always wait for me and we would pray together before they went to bed.
Enter baby number three and the sleeping time for older children found us holding, feeding or rocking the baby to sleep. Unknowingly, we would then send the older children to bed to allow the baby to sleep or avoid distraction.
With time, this developed into a habit and now the times we would pray together as a family reduced significantly. In regard to movie time, we didn’t think it was wise or safe to expose a few months-old baby to the cinema screen.
Every so often, probably once a month or once every two months, we would go out as a family for a movie in one of the cinema halls. With a baby onboard, this whole regimen faded unceremoniously. As parents, we didn’t even note this change in family tradition until when my son gave us this feedback.
This worried me. It means there could be many good things we have been doing as a family and with no clear explanation stopped doing them. Maybe, it was not a big deal for us as parents, but to the children it meant everything. Who is the new “boss baby” in your life?
Who has come and disrupted most of the things you used to do as a family and you thought it was not big deal. You have adopted a new way of doing things as a family, without any reference to all family members, especially the children.
Don’t assume that they will be okay with new change. It could be change of job, business, school, neighbourhood or church. Any change will definitely impact your children, involve them as much as you can on the new changes coming to their lives.