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My single mother and I, the ‘Bastard’

Children of single mothers face discrimination and stigma as society questions  parental style and values instilled in them

Ken Wariahe @wariahe

It takes guts and wit at some stage in life to come out and express oneself to the world on a matter that has not only been misinterpreted but also stereotyped to suit some egocentric men and women who believe they have a right to become morality police.

I delve into the debate of how single mothers have been christened the devils of child up-bringing. And for the first time, I allow myself to use a word I have detested ever since, and call myself a BASTARD.

Yes, I am among the ‘bastards’ some people feel should have been wiped off the face of earth the day their “irresponsible” mothers delivered them. Yes, I am the ‘bastard’ whose mother would be ignored by the morality police, who will look away and not congratulate her for bringing to earth a bouncing baby boy. Maybe “they” just sneered and wished the bastard writing this article would pass on soonest.

Moral policing

Over the years, I have followed this debate keenly about how poor single mothers are at moulding their children to become better persons in the future. It is sad that even children from ‘perfect families’ have been warned against playing with bastards not considering that some became mothers as a result of rape, which is a calamity that can befall anyone.

A story has been told to me by my grandfather of how my late mom (God rest her soul in peace) conceived me. She was in Form Three, aged just 17. My grandfather was faced with a difficult choice: decide if my mom was to be married off to the man responsible or take responsibility and ensure mom completed school and had a future. 

He settled on the latter and that’s how I ended up breastfeeding for only two months so that mom could go back to school. My lovely grandmother had the responsibility of bringing me up as grandfather worked miles away.

To cut the long story short, mom finished high school and was admitted to college, where she studied nursing, through which she oversaw my upbringing. I wonder what the moral police would say about my case, considering the stereotype that children brought up by grandmothers are spoilt. If that’s the case, then I am ‘spoilt’ to the power of 100.

Deserving of respect

It is irresponsible and uncouth for anyone to cluster children brought up by their single mothers as ‘spoilt’. It’s even more uncouth to decide to segregate children in as far as equal right to education goes.

Just a thought to you “moral police” imagine if you noticed that your favourite children’s doctor is a bastard? How would you feel? Insecure?

Pastors and Bishops have sired kids, brought them up in the perfect way in a perfect set-up only to get negative results. WHO’S to blame?

It’s wise for the “moral cops” to remember they have sired daughters. It’s their wish that they bring them up to be prefect beings. Question is, is there a chance they could end up being single mothers? And my answer is simple, MAYBE  AND JUST MAYBE and if it happens, will that daughter become an irresponsible single mother who will bring up irresponsible bastards?

We have as many responsible single mothers out there and to come out and condemn them and their descendants is outright wrong. I imagine God never imagined bastards but he forgives and pours blessings where no one expects. I am a journalist born and brought up by a single mom, and not a BASTARD in God’s eyes. Respect us and our single mothers please. The writer is a news editor and anchor at K24

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