While most people keep the reasons for their affairs a secret, a 39-year-old businessman has revealed why he chooses to regularly, and unashamedly, cheat on his wife.
Ryan*, who is ‘happily married’ and has young children, said that while he has a ‘great family’, there are psychological and physical ‘gaps’ in his life that he simply cannot ignore.
“There is also the aspect of business travel and spending endless evenings and nights by yourself… you want someone to share those times with you,” he said.
Ryan said after being married for a while each of them started to take things for granted and the ‘spark and mystery’ of the relationship became ‘elusive’.
“You do things in a monotonous fashion you don’t always look forward to it. You can let go of some things with an affair partner that you wouldn’t with your spouse,” he said.
Affairs are how Ryan brings the ‘excitement’ back into his life and he enjoys the thrill of seeking them out both on business trips and at home.
“You tend to look forward to the meet ups and rendezvous. Somewhere there is a charm in breaking the shackles and doing things that are taboo. Call it the rebel in me or purely a human instinct,” said Ryan.
Ryan said that while he doesn’t want to blame his cheating ‘entirely on genes’, he believes ‘humans have had a cheating instinct for ages’.
Despite having regular affairs, Ryan does describe himself as ‘happily married’… yet he has no plan to stop his ‘adulterous activities’.
“A marriage comes with more expectations and adjustments, which are not necessarily at the same level in an affair. I am not saying that set your bar low, but just that you can let go some things with an affair partner that you wouldn’t with your spouse,” he said.
He believes this is why ‘not all relationships culminate in marriage in the first place’.
Ryan started cheating just a few years into his marriage and said the best kind of affairs were those that happened ‘naturally’ with people he met. He has also tried using dating sites for married people like controversial website Ashley Madison, especially after moving to a new country.