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I ache for the love of my womanising man

Hi Achokis.

My boyfriend and I broke up after dating for four years. It’s been a week and I’m still devastated. I want him back. Before we started dating, I knew he was a Casanova and I still agreed to date him.

We have been through so much— I’ve forgiven him for cheating on me three times. He doesn’t seem to be affected by the break-up and it’s like he has moved on. He wrote me a text message and the content was cold and rude. I really do love him. Will he come back or I should just move on?

OUT TAKE
One week is still a short time if you have been in a relationship for four years. You have gotten used to being with this person and so it is only fair for you to feel this way.

You are still in the denial stage, where you are still hopeful that things might work. You are still digesting the news of the break-up, and it’s still not real to you.

He isn’t worth it
Things have changed for you, but for your guy it seems like it is life as usual and that is why he doesn’t seem to be affected. He is just continuing with his lifestyle. You say that before you started going out you knew that he was a Casanova and you still agreed to date him.

That is the problem many women have. They know very well the kind of man they are dealing with, yet they get into the box hoping that he will change.

Unfortunately, guys don’t change; they just become more of who they were before they met you. And that’s what you are seeing here — a guy who cheats on you not once, but thrice is not worth sticking around with.

Value yourself
You say you really do love him. But love is more than a feeling, it is a decision one makes. Seeing what this guy has done to you and the fact that he is not willing to change his lifestyle, you need to leave him and move on with your life. You are someone special and should not allow yourself to be used like a doormat by someone else.

A man will treat you the way you allow them to treat you. If you don’t value yourself, how do you expect him to value you? By sticking in that relationship, you are only making it easier for the guy to continue misbehaving.
You should be grateful that he left.

Don’t be desperate; there are many good men out there who know how to treat a woman well. This man is not the last man on earth, but even if he was, he is not worth having you, seeing how he has treated you. If it means not being in a relationship, so be it. Who said we must be in one, even if it is hurting us.

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