Boys, spend your HELB cash on books

Afew days ago, the Mantra in all Campos was, “Ringera must fall,” as comrades picked on the HELB CEO over “delayed” disbursements of student loan funds. As usual, they threatened to bring everything in the country to a stand still if their bank accounts did not show a balance other than nil.

The energy with which they were making threats would have you think that HELB is oxygen that is exclusively breathed by intellectuals. You should see how they viciously posted on Facebook saying; “We hereby warn Ringera to behave. Failure to which he shall be subjected to the wrath of comrades, which by the way is even feared by Satan.”

Don’t flinch! These are just mere students who think it is cute to sound like a pack of some Afghanistan rebels. Now rumours around the campo corridor indicate that Ringera “bowed to the pressure” and “feared the wrath of comrades” and disbursed the money.

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Propagandists further advanced the theory by claiming that the money was sent to students’ accounts after “his earthquakeness Babu Owino” went to threaten to cut the supply of oxygen at Anniversary Towers if money wasn’t released. This theory is then followed by praises from Babu worshipers who went, “Long live Babu, Babu milele, Babu Tibim…!”

Anyway, whatever the route followed, some allege to have received the money. This has changed the mantra now from “Ringera must fall” to “sponsors must fall.” A brood of elder men who have been confusing campus ladies with money is now in trouble! Campo dudes now say they are well equipped to challenge them, with the tax-payers’ money!

The classroom banter now is, “It’s mid-month and sponsors are broke. We have HELB money, it is our time to rule!” In the next few days, men are about to go down the lane brokenness in the name of intimidating sponsors and reclaiming their women.

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Campo girls are about to start filling their social media timelines with pictures of dining in the best eateries in town. They are about to come up with all sorts of excuses to suck money from these guys.

This is the time when guys get texts like, “Baby I have a headache, please sambaza me credo ” and the brute will send as if airtime is now a painkiller! Dear boys. Once she goes sponsor, she shall not look back because of the short-term HELB money.

Where were your ears when Vera Sidika shattered all souls at Kenyatta University when she said she’s dating an oil tycoon? So how exactly will a HELB beneficiary who shares blood with bedbugs compete with an oil tycoon? Go buy yourself books with that HELB money brother!

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