Valentine’s Day is here and I’m broke. I know my wife is expecting something from me because each year, I always treat her. But this time nikubaya. I don’t know what to do. Of late, I’ve become irritable and thus harsh to her. Should I just pretend and behave as if I don’t know it’s Valentine’s? What can I do. Please help!
Thanks for your question. Valentine’s Day can come with a lot of pressures, especially for those who are hitched as is evident from your question.
There’s the pressure to perform, to do something extravagant for your lover, which is good, but who said that it only must be said in that way? So often, it’s those simple acts of love done with your spouse in mind that make the relationship more enjoyable.
There are several other less expensive ways in which one can express their love on Valentine’s. You could, for example help with bathing, feeding, playing and getting the children to bed thus allowing your wife to rest if she’s a young mother.
You could take a walk with her in the neighbourhood depending on where you live. You could decide to sacrifice and take her for shopping or just sit and chat her up. Send her a romantic message. Buy her a small gift; remember it’s not the size of the gift, but the thought that matters. Whatever you do, make sure you have done your homework well.
What is her love language? What are some of those things that are not costly that she has always dreamed of or desired. What did you love doing when you were courting her and didn’t have much money? Find out in different ways what makes her feel special.
You could even involve her close friends to help with some ideas that will blow her away. Be creative and surprise her. The fact that she is probably expecting you to do what you did last year provides you with an opportunity to surprise her with something different. Keep it simple, but sweet and special.
Talk it out
The problem with men is that too often they don’t communicate when they find themselves in such a space. They pretend that all is well but it isn’t. So they keep quiet and let the day pass by leaving the woman so upset not just because they did nothing, but also because they didn’t let her know what was happening.
Who knows, she may have gotten money somewhere and would treat you instead? We believe by opening up and sharing with her your condition and your desire to do something will endear her more to you than if you simply ignored it and wished it away. Have a lovely Valentine’s Day!