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My boyfriend is having an affair with my daughter

I think my daughter is going out with my man. I’m a single mum and I have struggled to bring up my daughter. At some point, she was rebellious and ran away from home. She is now back to college, but the shocking thing is that the other day when I borrowed her phone, I stumbled on some disturbing text messages of her flirting with my boyfriend.

When I confronted my daughter, her response was alarming. It is then I realised that whenever my boyfriend spends at my place, he delays to go to work and I usually leave the two of them alone. I feel so bad, how could I be so deceived under my nose by the two people I love the most? Please help, I’m going crazy!


We can only imagine how this is devastating for you. Here you are trying to mend your relationship with your daughter then bang! This thing hits you right between your eyes. You need to first confront your boyfriend and let him know how bad he has hurt you.

This is not a man whom you can trust and the sooner you get rid of him, the better for you. If he has the audacity to cheat with your own daughter, what else is he not capable of doing? He is definitely not someone worth relating with.

Help your daughter

Once you have gotten rid of him, you need to address the issue with your daughter. What she did was wrong and she needs to know as much, but you also need to understand that she must be going through something. You mentioned that she had run away from home, what was the issue?

She probably has a deeper issue and needs help. So, in dealing with her, go beyond your pain and seek help for her. Talk to someone who is close to her. You can use one of your friends who is close to her. Who knows, she might just open up to you and that could be the beginning of her healing and the restoration of your mother-daughter relationship?

This whole situation could just as well be a blessing in disguise in that first, it has revealed to you the kind of guy you are dating and second, if handled well could just give you your daughter back.

Don’t spoil her

As a single mum, it’s not easy raising up a child alone. And even after struggling so hard this is what she turns out to be. Don’t judge yourself harshly as this will only increase your pain and make you do something bad. Instead, try to understand her. She probably is seeking for attention, thus her behaviour.

However, you should not spoil her too much or shield her from the consequences of her wrong choices. It is important for her to realise that no matter what, she’s now an adult and needs to be careful of the kind of choices she makes. Hopefully, she will be able to realise this and change for the better.

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