Here we go again. It’s that, ‘I’m shedding’ time of the year. In the evening, you will see them rush home to eat and drink after a long day’s work. Our Muslim brethren are observing the month of Ramadhan. They fast and pray, their spirits are renewed. But these ones aren’t Muslims. So they ‘fast’. Whether they pray to renew their spirits, the universe will never know. But one thing’s for sure, their waistline should no doubt be renewed.
See, in the quest of ‘keeping fit’ I know a few ma’ams (it’s the ‘cool’ ones who do these things) who opt to fast with our Muslim brothers. I silently watch and wait for the outcome.
True to their words, it’s almost assured that fasting would be a way to weight loss, but what happens between dusk and dawn tells a whole different story. “Oh by the way, I’m fasting,” they’ll tell everyone who cares to listen. Fasting? You enquire. “Yeah, gal Ramadhan, wonna shed some few kilos.”
In the name of breaking fast, they overindulge, enjoying meals heavy in fat, high calories and sugar in the dark. It’s a whole foodie affair, this fast! When you happen to ‘bust’ (it’s not really busting because, hey you’re minding your own business, but their reaction…) them indulging, they’ll go…’Aki usinijudge,si you know I’ve been fasting the whole day?’ And thing is, it hadn’t even clicked that they were overindulging. But they know it, that’s why the self-doubt.
By the time they’re breaking the fast next day, they don’t even notice having a dry day. They’re already almost full, just re-filling to take them through the next day. And if you ask them, some kilos will have to mysteriously disappear by the end of it all. God bless these ambitious souls!
The after math. The moon has been spotted — it’s funny how they also wait for the moon call. Next day, they proudly step on those loud weighing scales in town, unlike before, they don’t mind strangers listening in as the machine shouts their weight. But alas, renewed weight…plus six or seven kilos. They want to die. They don’t listen when the universe reminds them the essence of Ramadhan.
Unless you’re doing it to enhance self-discipline, just quit and let our Muslim brothers and sisters do their thing. It’s a religious thing, let it be. Whatever happened to the smoothie, keto and green diets? Choose something else to trend on. This one might be literally and metaphorically fattening you for judgement day!