Hi Achokis, I recently met a nice woman and we started going out together. I love her and I know she loves me too. However, I have a child with another woman. There was nothing really serious between us— we just got careless and she became pregnant with my child.
I accepted responsibility and agreed to support her through the pregnancy. Now I’m afraid that if my new girlfriend knows about this, it might jeopardise our relationship. I don’t want to lose her. What do I do?
Our past has a way of affecting our present and even our future. Your past is now affecting your present relationship. What do you do? First, it is evident that you don’t want to rock the boat. But how long are you going to hide this from your girlfriend?
This thing has the potential of greatly affecting your relationship. You will live under constant fear of the secret and thus would never become that emotionally intimate with your new girlfriend. There will always be a barrier between you and your girlfriend because of this secret.
And the moment she discovers, it would devastate her and even possibly break your relationship. So, do you want to pay now and play later or do you want to play now and pay later? It is, therefore, important that the truth comes out early enough. Before things go too far, you need to be honest with this girl and let her know what happened. It will not be easy, but it will surely go a long way in helping you.
You will be released from the guilt that is eating you up now, the fear of what if she finds out, or what if the other woman decides to blackmail you. Your fear of losing this relationship should not make you succumb to the other fear of ‘what if’.
Truth will set you free Furthermore, if this chic really loves you, she will be willing to take you and your mess. But even if she doesn’t, it will mean that she wasn’t really for you and that’s okay. You want to be in a relationship with someone who truly loves you for who you are including your past, however bad it is.
So, gather courage and face her with the truth. After all, the Bible says that the truth will set us free. You want to be in a relationship where there is freedom not fear, where you are free to be yourself and are secure in knowing that you are loved not just because in spite of your past. The sooner you get things right, the better for you. Relationships must be founded in trust, so you don’t want to start on a bad note.