Happy New Year Achokis. We have been married for the last 10 years and have three children. My husband is a nice man and a good father to our children.
We have several couple friends that we hang out with. Most of the men in this group are close friends with my hubby. Of late, I’ve been feeling uncomfortable hanging out with these friends because one of them has been hitting on me. He keeps sending me funny text messages and always wants to hang around me.
He will use every excuse to help me whenever my hubby is out of town. He has become more and more explicit in his advances of late and this is driving me crazy. I don’t know who to turn to, who will believe me? Please help?
Happy New Year to you! Getting attracted to someone of the opposite sex is natural. Most of the times, you get attracted to those people you hang around with. Unfortunately, for this man he has not managed this attraction and has let it grow to the point that he is now making advances at you.
It could have been easier if you were dealing with a stranger, but a family friend? That’s complicated. You may need to have a hard conversation with him and let him know in no uncertain terms that you are not interested in him and are not going to allow this. Ignore him and be cold towards him.
If he persists, as men can be aggressive in pursuing what they want irrespective of who they are dealing with, warn him that you will let your husband know.
Tell your hubby
If it comes to that, then realise that men can sometimes be so naïve and that even if you told your husband, he might not take you seriously. You can even start discouraging his visits and going for those functions. Let your husband know that you are not comfortable with this man helping you around whenever he (your hubby) travels out.
Hopefully, your hubby will pick up those hints. If he doesn’t, then you may need to be more direct with him and tell him in black and white. Since he may not believe you, or the other man may deny this, it will be important that you save those messages that this other man has been sending. That way, you have documentary evidence to prove your case.
Remember that this man and your hubby are and have been best of friends. He might be a good man who was overtaken by his emotions. Your aim in all this is to help him because who knows who else he has been hitting at and this may just be what he needs to change this bad behaviour.