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Lounging with leopards

Because flights to Watamu are unnecessarily expensive, and also because you need to get a feel of Mombasa too, we decided to fly to Mombasa see the city for three nights then proceed to Diani by car and ferry for another three days. I will not talk about the car ride, save the fact that it took less than two hours. 

Just make sure you leave early to beat the crazy Mombasa traffic and escape being packed in the humid heat. I will not talk about where to stay in Mombasa, at least not today. But I will talk about where we stayed, my sisters and I, in Diani and where you might think of staying too.

We arrived at Leopard Beach Resort a little after lunch and were welcomed with cold passion fruit juice and warm towels. Our luggage was transferred to the waiting golf carts as we got keys to our villa. We hopped onto the golf carts and were carted off to our residence.

The rooms were tastefully furnished in neutrals, while throw pillows and wall art in popping colours brightened up the space. There was a small plunge pool outside. You would have to swim 12 lengths to get tired, but I imagine it is perfect for you odd couples who love splashing around in the pool and making conversation instead of swimming as if the sharks are after you, which I much prefer.

You laugh now and continue with your conversation, but there is nothing like being prepared. We will see how you laugh when I swim past you and you become the shark’s gummy bear, I guess in this case you would be a shark, gummy human.

But jokes aside, the villas at the Leopard Beach Resort are beautiful and spacious, complete with several bathrooms and one bathtub. You can take either the two or three bedroomed villa, depending on how many you are.

The other great thing is if you are feeling too lazy to call a golf carte, and then wait for it, and then be carted off for meals, you can order in. You can then get in some swimming, pander to the sitting room and watch whatever you want, including funny cat videos either on the free WiFi or on DSTV.

The dinning area by dusk is an elegant place to while the evening away.

If you are active enough, you can walk to the restaurant and order a’la carte since the sun and hotel buffets wait for no man.

Optionally you can walk to Marcos Bar, to challenge your liver while indulging your eyes with views of the ocean and your taste buds in delightful cocktails.

You might decide to go swimming in the huge hotel pool after, an inelegant sport if you are a bit too sloshed, as your hands will barely be able to cut through the water.

You might sit in the shade after and Google ‘Can you drown if you swim drunk’ and Google will gladly tell you ‘You will drown’ in bold and give you shocking statistics such as that alcohol is the major cause of drowning when swimming.

Scared of your own mortality, you will go for a walk on the beach, trying to keep a straight line and staying clear of the waves smashing on the beach and glaring nervously at them because Google says they will drown you in your slightly tipsy state.

You will see a large rock boulder, it is to Leopard Beach Diani, what that tree in the Mara is, an identifying mark, a quintessential part of the latter.

You will touch it and marvel at how huge it is and how tiny you are in the cosmos by comparison. You will then lean against it and think that you might convince your sisters to dance and sing with the band and animators later during dinner.

You will definitely drag them to the beach in the early morning to watch the sunrise. And as the sun births fiery hues all over the dark night sky, the following dawn, you are sure you will be back. You are sure that the ferry ride across the ocean was worthwhile. You are sure you survived because you did not swim drunk.

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