There is no other country I’d rather live in than Kenya! Seriously! It’s the only country whose runners took up the first 17 places — out of a possible 10,000 — at the Singapore Stanchart Marathon.
No other country in the world has ever achieved this, with the winner Joshua Kipkorir completing the race about half an hour quicker than the fastest non-Kenyan. What a fete!
Whether Kipkorir and Co were running from the fact that a 91-year-old is in charge of their money is still to be established. All in all, congratulations are in order to the team.
Meanwhile, we have exclusive information that Harambee Stars coach Sebastian Migne is either about to join a choir or he is auditioning as a stand-up comedian (Churchill, take note).
This week, Migne proved he has the cords and the humour after continuing with a chorus that has been sung by so many other Harambee Stars coaches — “Pay me my money, or I’ll quit!” At this point, that statement is hilariously musical! Or is it musically hilarious?
Migne, who has successfully guided Harambee Stars to the (2019) Africa Cup of Nations for the first time in 15 years, says he has not been paid for the last three months, his salary arrears amounting to Sh4.5 million. Oh, Migne! Migne, Migne, Migne! You have been in Kenya for seven months and you still think we’ll pay you? Your musical comedy deserves a Grammy!
If you think this is a joke, ask the last guy to take Kenya to Afcon. He’s alive; well, he’s a ghost. The point is, you can find him at Radio Africa. What is most shocking is that Migne did not do a quick Wikipedia search to realise that The Stars have had 14 managers in the last 10 years!
Fourteen! Quatorze! 42 since its formation! You think this is by accident? People don’t do this for money buddy; it’s a calling! Haven’t you ever heard that? You get called up to the National Team!
You want money, Mr Migne? Apply for the, now, vacant receptionist position at NHIF. It is quite lucrative; you’ll get to ride in choppers and own several houses to practise your comedy. If not, you need to find your fellow Frenchmen Henri Michel and Bernard Lama; I am sure you’ll make a great opera. But, Migne is getting some serious competition for his jokes (still reading Churchill?).
Education CS Amina Mohammed decided to turn her joke on after announcing that we’ll not be moving to the 2-6-6-3 system of education in January as earlier planned and that the children who had already started will revert to 8-4-4.
The butt of all the jokes that Amina made in her stand-up routine at the Senate (she was seated) was that the government dropped plans to introduce the Competence Based Curriculum (CBC) because of lack of preparedness.
Yes, the government is NOT prepared. Hmmmm….where have I heard that statement before? Elections? No; those are always perfect. Disasters? Can’t be — we’re so good at dealing with those. Traffic? Didn’t we draw a red line to deal with that?
The government is ALWAYS prepared! So, what jokes are these Amina was making? There is absolutely no way that the government would not have been prepared!
Have you seen our national celebrations? We are so meticulous, we even got some new attire for our Commander In Chief! So, what is Amina talking about?
Haven’t we been pumping money into training teachers (about Sh400 million a year) and building infrastructure? Oh, wait, I know! We’re waiting for the paint on the infrastructure to dry! It’s either that or Kenya has moved into a new system of Governance: MBE — Management By Experiments. – The writer is a presenter at Kameme TV. —[email protected]