There is no other country I’d rather live in than Kenya! Seriously! In which other country does a 91-year-old get appointed a board member of anything, including a cattle dip? Don’t you just love being a Kenyan? This is the only country that loves its senior citizens so much; we won’t let them remain jobless and poor!
Finance Cabinet secretary Henry Rotich appointed former Vice President Moody Awori as a board member of the newly-constituted Sports, Arts and Social Development Fund. Uncle Moody was born on December 5, 1928.
I’m just wondering, what’s all this noise on social media? Do you want Uncle Moody to remain jobless? In this economy? How heartless are you? The last time this guy had a job, Kibaki was still President!
Some of the board’s major functions include managing the fund, developing infrastructure and facilitating Team Kenya for their national assignment.
Knowing how efficient this government is in recruitments, there is, clearly, no young person in Kenya who has more energy, creativity or knowledge to handle that kind of mountainous responsibility than a man who stopped being a youth 55 years ago — in 1963! That is just science.
Plus, didn’t President Uhuru Kenyatta send 75-year-old former Kitui senator David Musila to be among his peers at the museum as the chairman of the National Museums of Kenya two months ago? Consistency, fellow Kenyans, consistency. To the millennials and youngins complaining on the internet, stop hollering and get busy getting old.
In the spirit of love, Kenyans, especially those who live in the City under the garbage — or is it drama? — were treated to free aerobics and all day exercises after the government decided that only those who can afford to sit in their vehicles enjoying the cool breeze of their air-conditioned motor garis should be allowed to do that as the rest of them trekked to work.
Some people have reasoned that it was not well thought out because a lot of time and money was wasted in the same traffic the government was trying to eliminate. Phew! Aren’t we lucky those people are not in government?
What kind of 12th century thinking is that? If that bunch of complainers knew any better, they would have realised that this was the government’s way of showing love to its people by killing three birds with one stone. THREE BIRDS!
One, Kenyans desperately needed a commercial break from news of looting, stealing, MPs greed, Waititu Rant Masters and rising debt and boy, did we get one! For two days, the Capital’s Governor, H.E. Mike Mbuvi Sonko aka the new king of tweng’, was the talk of town. What people said about him is neither here nor there.
The point is, we discussed him — and his shenanigans — and for a moment there, we forgot we still don’t know how the maize money grew legs or what the hell is going on at Kenya Pipeline. That, my dear Kenyans, is pure love.
Secondly, with the rate of deaths from lifestyle diseases increasing mysteriously — don’t count the fast food joints that keep popping up in Nairobi, that’s not the cause — this was the government’s way of ensuring that as many people as possible stay healthy and alive to pay taxes, by providing free gym services. That way, the government can have enough money to pay 91-year-olds, MPs and the Chinese. Science.
Lastly, this was the easiest way of creating employment for pickpockets. They are also humans and they have families to feed! What more do you want? —The writer is a presenter at Kameme TV.