When it comes to sex, the length of a man’s ‘apparatus’ is usually the thrust of the issue. The integral question, however, is how important is mass versus technique
John Kipchirchir, 28, is a depressed man. His girlfriend of two months recently left him citing his “small” penis as something that she can’t stand. Her ideal man is someone who has it big; something that she believes will make her have a great experience in bed.
They met in a club and after several sexual encounters, which in his opinion were good, he one day received a bombshell that he wasn’t that great in bed.
This is a topic that has yet to go away and probably, in this day and age where social media matters, it never will but does penis size matter? Is it something that people genuinely care about in relationships?
Our perspective that manhood is equal to big penis goes way back to how it was viewed in the ancient period. In the Greek and the ancient Roman society, the attractiveness of the penises was more on its small size. Delinquent young men were admonished in plays not to behave badly or else their punishment would be their penises growing larger.
Great sculptors like Michelangelo or other male nude sculptures by other artists of that period depict a surprisingly small penis. During this period, the term masculinity had nothing to do with the size of the penis than with that of the scrotum.
It is said that a big scrotum that hung full and low suggested large testicles, implied great potency. But all this changed in the second half of the nineteenth century with the invention of photography in 1840 and motion pictures in 1890.
Porn has always assisted men in masturbation, which is all about erections, and these images always depicted the penises as an injection device, therefore thrusting it into the centre of attention. The images advance the notion: the bigger the better.
Popular city sexologist Maurice Matheka believes that social media is responsible for making men conscious about their penis size. In the traditional African society, men were more concerned about taking care of their women rather than the size of their penis size.
“Most women, who are crazy about penis size have an image in their mind of something they heard in a discussion or something that they have seen or has been described to them in the social media. So they benchmark it as a big penis without an understanding of what a good size is and how it looks like,” he says.
Speaking of size, while it is relative, so it makes sense to define exactly what is meant by small, normal, and of course, large. Research indicates that globally, one per cent of men have a penis measuring longer than eight inches.
Nearly 70 per cent of men have a penis measuring six inches or four inches, which is deemed to be the average size. In the year 2007, a review published by BJU International revealed that the average erect penis length to be 14–16 cm (5.5–6.3 in) and girth to be 12–13 cm (4.7–5.1 in).
This was in comparison to the results of 12 studies conducted on different populations in several countries. Various methods of measurements were included in the review
According to Matheka, penis sizes vary in different region, with men from Asia having the smallest size relative to African men. A vagina is only about three inches long when not fully aroused, but during sexual intercourse it can swell about another inch. This makes the vagina a perfect fit for every size of penis.
“Sex is a game of skill where effort and knowing what to do counts. It is not affected by the size of penis,” explains Matheka.
A number of reasons have been given to explain why a larger penis could be more sexually satisfying. First, the width of the penis at the base may be more stimulating to the clitoris. At the same time, it is said that a larger penis may help women achieve vaginal orgasm, as opposed to orgasms from the clitoris.
Studies indicate that a wide penis gives a woman a ‘greater feeling of fullness’ and is therefore physically and psychologically more satisfying.
Matheka believes that the best way that a man can rise to the top of the game is to learn sexual techniques and skills that women enjoy immensely. These may comprise great foreplay and oral sex. Furthermore, there are many sexual positions that maximise the effect of your penis, resulting in greater pleasure for your partner.
“Obsessing about the size of your penis will not only dent your self-confidence, but also lower your self-esteem. This will make it harder for you to get any sex in the first place, or enjoy it at all. Men with larger penises get more sexual partners for one simple reason – they have more confidence. After all, the women did not know of the size of the prize beforehand,” he says.