Xaxeni waxee… How ix the going guyx? Don’t mind my Chinexe accent. High school children aka future freshers and probably aspiring sponsors and sponsorees are now home. Yes, people. Schools are closed and the adolescents are now everywhere, disturbing our peace and breathing our oxygen. Comrades beware! Things are not good waxee.
You know nature is funny nowadays. Gone are the days when people used to grow to the size of giants. These days, folks suffer stunted growth. It’s like Mother Nature just got tired of allowing guys to be tall. In this respect, pinpointing an underage girl from these campus divas is like trying to tell the difference between a pregnant cockroach and a fat one.
So, please, team mafisi, before you find yourself behind bars for sauntering around with a minor, take wise words from me. Let me help you tell between the school babies and the campus babes.
1. Fisi, keep away from her if during yesterday’s service, she sang gospel songs like “Yexu mwokoxii amexaliwa tuimbe xhangweee…” That baby is still yet to know what the corners of a lecture hall are.
2. Hyena, if she doesn’t have a Facebook account, that child is still under care of parents and they have clipped her with social media restrictions. Stay away!
3. Tibim Comrade! Don’t end up in prison for nothing. Ensure you ask for an original ID from any girl you approach. Don’t wait for the police to break the news that you’re buying alcohol for someone who is still learning to do titration.
4. They say a comrade is always right. However, you shall be on the wrong side when you get arrested teaching a child advanced biology. For that reason, ensure you ask for results transcripts of last semester before you advance. If she has a report card, friend, abort mission!
5. It is also advisable to go borrow and walk around with the IEBC voters register (since it’s not in use currently). Under 18s are everywhere out here. Be sure before you’re sued.
6. If she doesn’t know E-Sir, K-Rupt, Darlin P and Mighty King Kong, that kiddo was born in 2002. Stay away!
All in all comrades, don’t stand trial before you stand at the graduation square. We are a generation of short and tiny people… It’s important to know the difference between babes and babies.