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Relationship is not all about a flashy lifestyle

With BARNABAS ACHOKI

Living on the fast lane has become the in thing — people flaunting big sums of money, living large and showing off their lavish lifestyles. Many of our young people are getting caught up in this as they aspire to emulate such lifestyles. So great is this allure for such a lifestyle that many are being tempted to steal, be corrupt or even look for a sponsor. As a parent, I get scared by the kind of role models our children are growing up to emulate.

Many women would want to get hitched to such guys, but what they fail to realise is that some of these guys who flaunt around loads of money do so because they are suffering from some form of self-inadequacy. They are trying to fill a hole in their lives by showing off what they have. They have a low self-esteem and poor sense of their self-worth and so often are insecure in who they are. Such guys cannot have stable and secure relationships because they are in need. And that need cannot be filled by their wealth or a beautiful woman. It can only be filled by the realisation that they are in need or suffering from some personality disorders or a lack of self-esteem.

For guys, sometimes we think what makes us be a man is the number of toys we have. We think the only way we can win that chic is by flaunting our money around. But more often than not, what we end up with is someone who was attracted to us because of what we had or do in life rather than for who we really are.

For the two to become one and remain so, we need to get hooked to someone for who they are, not just for what they have or what they do. Getting hooked to someone because of what they have or what they do can be dangerous as those things we possess can easily disappear and what we do can be taken away from us in a second. So remember, not all that glitters is gold and sometimes to get the gold, you may have to dig through a lot of dirt.

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