‘I love you.’ People who may not mean it often toss around these words lightly. But if you really mean it and want your partner to believe it, then these actions will convince them that you truly love them, as listed by Cynthia Mukanzi
1. Ask them about the people they love
We often think that it’s enough to just ask “how was your day?” However, that same care should be genuinely extended to their loved ones. Ask them about their parents, siblings and even friends. This will show them that you are really connected to them; you value their happiness and the wellbeing of their loved ones.
2. Explore them everyday
Couples that have been together for years always think they know everything about each other. They relax into this and don’t make an effort to explore each other. Sometimes this is when cheating sets in; they want to seek outside thrills when they can still do this with their lovers by going skin deep. Truth is, you can never completely know everything about one another. Explore each other’s minds and emotions. There’s so much to learn from your partner on a daily basis; you just have to go deep.
3.Pick a common healthy habit
It could be working out, a diet plan, game, taking up a new course or project or even spending more time with your children. That’s how the hashtag ‘couple goals’ really works. It’s not just about showing off on social media, but putting in the work to make it successful and holding each other accountable. This brings you closer in bonding and strengthens your relationship.
4. Be their cheerleader
Oh yes! Go on their social media page and go all crazy with emojis and comments that celebrate them. Even away from social media, applaud them and cheer them on. Be their number one fan and support them throughout. Be there; show up and remind them of their worth. Uplift them when they are down and validate their feelings. Listen to them and ask questions. Let them know that you are there to walk with them through it all, the good and the bad. Don’t let them beg for your love and support. Be sensitive to their needs.
5. Surprise them with kindness
Stepping in when your partner is swarmed with work without them having to ask is the way to go. This eases their frustration. If you want to help, but you don’t know how they need you to, it’s equally okay to express this, so that they can tell you where you can assist. Things like cleaning up the house while they are cooking does help. Or you could do all these if they are overwhelmed and let them only worry about office work or exams. Occasionally, surprise them with lunch at their workplace.
6. Encourage them to spend time on their own
As much as you are one, it is important to preserve your individuality. Before you started dating or got married, you had separate lives and it is good to maintain that. Of course, things do change and it may not always be the same as to when you didn’t have children. But you should still have time for yourself and your partner should support it. You should be able to spend time on your own or with friends. Do not sacrifice meaningful relationships with your loved ones just because you are seeing someone.
7. Share songs that express your feelings for them
This is cheesy and it works wonders. It’s so much fun and simple. It can be a song that lightens them up when they are having a hard time, a beautiful gesture that can bring them to tears, in a good way. They will know you are thinking about them. It doesn’t have to just be songs; a film, video clip, book or even an article can do wonders.
8. Don’t hold them back
As the late American author and poet Maya Angelou once said, “Love liberates, it doesn’t just hold. That’s ego.” This goes out to the possessive minds that think blocking your lover’s way is how you show them undying love. No, it isn’t. It is scary and pushes them away. Set them free and let them be their own people. Do not take away their individuality and freedom. People are not objects to be owned. When you love someone, you will not stand in their way of growth that comes with great opportunities.
9.Gift them thoughtfully
Thoughtful is the key word here. It is not about the price. A thoughtful gift can be something that helps them advance in life. Let’s say your boyfriend or girlfriend is an artist and they’re running out of art supplies. You can get them an item from the list of things they need. They don’t have to ask you. It can be a congratulatory gift for a project successfully implemented or a small get together to celebrate a special moment in their life.
10. Provide space for them to be vulnerable
It starts with the smallest things. If you are the type who gets angry or disgusted when your lover farts, cries or expresses their feelings, then you are not a good partner. Your spouse should feel safe in your presence in order for them to open up on anything, from the most embarrassing to the emotionally hardest. A loving and loyal partner makes them feel heard and comforted. Every emotion and feeling counts, so don’t dismiss them.