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My 53-year-old hubby can’t measure up to my Ben-10

am a married woman aged 40 years, but I have a boyfriend who is 29.  My husband is 53 and we got married 16 years ago. Though he is a good provider, in terms of food, shelter and fees, he can be a boring man. We don’t talk much, and when he is at home, he’s always on his gadgets claiming he is looking for business.

On the other hand, my boyfriend is fun-loving. I never get bored with him and he brings back life to me.  I don’t want to divorce my husband, but I’m enjoying my life with my boyfriend, especially over the weekends. Please help.


There is an age difference of about 13 years between you and your husband. Having been married for 16 years, it means that you got married at 24 years and your husband was 37. This means that probably being that young, you hadn’t tasted life as they say, while your hubby may have had enough of it.

Now many years later, you are trying to relive a phase of your life that you missed—after all, it is said, life starts at 40. So it seems it has just started for you, while your husband on the other hand is slowing down as he begins to come to terms with retirement.

Your sex life is definitely on the rise while your man’s could be on the decline at this age and that could be why this is happening to you.

Not genuine love

Your entanglement with this young man who has come into your life has further confused your situation. This is a deception because it is only exaggerating what it is that you are missing in your marriage. What you need to realise is that you are only infatuated with him.

Soon, reality will set in and you will realise that not all that glitters is gold. The young man may be in this because of what he gets from you. Good sex without any strings attached, no fear of commitment, and probably because of your money.

Someone nicely put it thus, “Ladies who mess with Ben-10s and Boy toys don’t forget when you play with little boys, you get peed on.” And sure enough, you will get peed on sooner than later.

Way forward

So, first thing is to cut off this relationship however much you seem to be enjoying it. This won’t be easy of course, and so you will need someone to hold you accountable as you do so. Secondly, manage your expectations and fantasies because if you don’t, you will still be feeling that you are missing something in your marriage.

Thirdly, have a candid conversation with your husband. Let him know what you want. Guys sometimes think that as long as they are providing for a woman, that’s enough. We believe that with the necessary help and with the two of you having those necessary conversations you will be able to still have you cake and eat it.

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