No man is an island. And as much as you would want to have your man all to yourself, he will always come across other women in his day-to-day life. Some harmless and others, well, not so harmless
Betty Muindi @Betty Muindi
In any relationship, when you choose to settle down with someone, you cannot avoid the fact there will be another woman or man that competes for your better half’s attention.
The first and most obvious threats to many marriages is the mpango wa kando, who not only steals his attention, but also has the potential to steal baba watoto from them. But what about mama nguo, the massage girl at the kinyozi, the barmaid, or best friend from childhood? These are all women who you should be ware of.
His female colleagues
When he is at work, the closest women to your husband are his workmates, a female boss or his secretary. They spend eight or more hours a day, five or six days a week, the entire years working side by side. Together they tackle problems together, go on field trips out of town and before they know it, their work relationship might blossom into a full-blown friendship.
The woman who literally gave birth to him and raised him can exercise great influence over her son. If she disapproves of his girlfriend, you might be gone faster than you can say “Mama’s boy”.
On the eve of her wedding, Nelly Karuni overheard her mother-in-law-to-be telling his son to never forget that the woman he was marrying will never be able to take care of him as she does. “She will never love you as I do. No woman could. Just remember your poor old mother,” were her exact words. Instantly, Nelly knew that she was in for a big rivalry.
Women often feel threatened by an ex-girlfriend who still plays a part in their man’s life. Whether it is because the men make them think that these women are waiting in the wings in case you mess up or just to see how their women would react if they tell their women that the ex is trying to get at them, no one knows! They are the ghosts that keep haunting a woman’s marriage.
Like his former girlfriend, a man shares some history with his ex-wife. This one never fails. The new wife may not get past the one that preceded her.
Women feel threatened by the existence of their husband’s previous wives, probably because, the other woman knows him deeper and better than her. It is even worse if his former wife had children with him and so they meet often ‘for the sake of the children.
They know some of the household’s deepest secrets—some know what the hubby’s boxers look like! Without them, some families would be in chaos.
When the woman of the house is away, it becomes the housegirl’s duty to prepare him breakfast and in the evening, she receives him, makes him and the children dinner. While some men might not entertain the thought of kicking off an affair with the house help, many men grow fond of helps and go ahead to begin affairs with them.
Believe it or not, this woman is a huge threat to a woman’s relationship. He always passes by mama mboga’s stall every evening to get something to cook for dinner. He even asks for her opinion on what to cook because he is tired of eating sukuma wiki everyday.
The woman then becomes his dietician and then as one thing may lead to another, he may seek her cooking services because apparently, the man does not know how to cook such and such. Or the woman brings him the groceries because he arrived too late and, therefore, could not pass by the her stall.
Mama nguo, just like the house helps get inside the personal space of many households, wash the most intimate pieces of clothing and even the bedroom.
If the man lives alone, it becomes a matter of time before they pounce on each other. Remember the incident that made headlines in Eldoret where a woman who washed clothes for people at a fee was enticed by married men?