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The cycle that is toxic love

Waithera Otieno @loveNlust 69

Are you experiencing a cycle in your relationship, where one person needs too much love (the hunter) and the other gives too little love (the hunted)? This is how the cycle plays out.

The hunter and the hunted meet and fireworks happen. The hunter wants a lot of intimacy and commitment. The hunted does not want intimacy and commitment. The hunter fears abandonment and chases after the hunted, who uses hurtful actions/words to push away the hunter.

The hunter picks a fight to get attention from the hunted, who in turn continues to ignore the hunter. Finally, two make up and make love.

This period of intimacy is short lived, because the hunted pushes the hunter away. The hunter feels hurt and craves intimacy with the hunted. The cycle starts again.

In this cycle, it always seems like the hunter is too much and the hunted is not enough. The hunter is always fearful of abandonment and frustrations that they can’t get enough from the hunted.

The hunted draws their strength from knowing that the hunter seems weaker and needier than they are. The more the hunted rejects the hunter, the more the hunter wants the hunted.

This type of relationship is unhealthy because even if both the hunter and the hunted are wildly attracted to each other, they are not good for each other. They end up treating each other badly, fighting all the time, and none of them finds the relationship satisfying. The bad moments usually outnumber the good moments.

The tug and pull between the two lovers can lead to feelings of insecurity, resentment and a distrust. Avoid toxic love cycles and if you are already in one, it is best to break up and find someone who is more compatible to your attachment style.

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