Hi Achokis. I have a best friend, whom we have known one another since primary school. She is now about to get married to a man she really loves. But I have noticed that this guy always wants to help me out. Initially, I was okay with that. But of late, I’m getting more and more uncomfortable with him because of some of the remarks he makes about me. One time he dropped me off home and wanted to come into my house, but I refused. My friend trusts me with him, but I’m not comfortable with this guy anymore. Should I tell my friend about him? Please advise!
That’s a tricky place for one to be in. You have to be careful not to be seen as a spoiler, but on the other hand you want to be a genuine friend and to protect your best friend from a potential danger. So you have two options here, whether to just allow things to be and keep your friendship or to bring out the matter and risk losing your friendship.
He is not worth it
Let us begin by commending you for not having fallen for this guy. A guy like that is neither worth you nor your friend. If he can flirt with you while he is courting her, what makes you think that he is not doing the same with other girls?
So, if you really cherish your friendship with your best friend it will be advisable that you tell her the kind of man she has. Realise that even if you don’t tell her, she will eventually get to find out and it will even be more painful as she will feel let down by you and you will be full of regrets.
How should you go about this? You need to be wise and careful how you approach this. You may begin by hinting to her like making her know in subtle ways that you are not comfortable with her guy, especially those times when she wants him to do something for you like escorting you home.
Take every opportunity to try and show her that you are not comfortable being alone with this guy. That way, she may start to sense that there’s something wrong and hopefully ask you why.
You may turn out to be an enemy
What if she doesn’t get the hints? Then you may be forced to take the bull by its horns and break this news to her. There is a big possibility that she will believe you having been friends for this long. However, there is a possibility that she may not want to hear that because she’s madly in love.
They say love is blind and trying to come in between the two of them may result in you being the enemy. In that case, rest assured that you have done your part as a friend and one day the truth shall vindicate you.