A jester with some degree of wisdom once said, if you throw a stone in a Kenyan campus, chances are either it will land on a wannabe Dj, a self-proclaimed model or an infinix owner. In the same light, we wish to speak for a majority that was not included in this list, yet their acute presence has been acutely felt across all campuses over a long time. Laptop thieves.
Laptop theft in campus is so rife, that the odds that a laptop will disappear from the hostel are way higher than odds that Jimmy Gait will release a bad song. If you thought that Rumplestillskin was the father of all witch doctors, then you are yet to hear of the escapades of these people. These people are so stellar in making life miserable for Campo students, yet they operate in dark shadows like some mafia of witches. . One minute you will be listening to some fine music on the laptop while studying for a CAT, the next minute you turn to raise the volume after a short spell of sudden silence, and find the laptop gone!
So how do these witches manage to dissappear with laptops faster than third years dissappear after impregnating first years? The devil knows best! Actually, it’s time our mothers started directing prayers towards the real demons. They are kneeling praying for their sons and daughters in Campo, pleading with the Lord to shield them so that the devil doesn’t steal their destiny, whereas in real life it’s some ninja stealing their laptops.
One classic move perpetrated by these villains was in KU a while back. Some lovestruck pair was busy in the hostel singing like birds and buzzing like bees. To camouflage what from afar sounded like a pack of army recruits on military exercise training, they played loud music on the laptop and went about their business proclaiming profanities at the top of their voices. In the middle of this biology session with a tinge of choir practice, they noticed there was an eerie silence in the room that was making their activities audible to all occupants of the hostel, who had by now gathered outside the room. That is when they realised that the laptop which helped camouflage the noise, had already been stolen! Classic!
So, comrades. If you have a laptop, cover it with the blood of Jesus. These people are worse than the teleportig witches in Nigerian Movies.