There’s the average Nairobi middle-class. Then there’s the Langata middle-class. It’s end month. So they’re balling like their lives depend on it. But for those on the other side of town struggling to understand what this ‘balling’ means, save your bundles, I gatcha! According to Langatxford dictionary, balling is just that, balling. Walk with me.
So around this time (payday), we walk at an angle. You know, slight bounce leaning on one side, because well, that’s how you walk when your pocket is loaded. We walk past mama mboga heavily bouncing to a butchery and demand for kilo, while at it shouting for the whole hood (kieleweke) to hear. Woe unto you if you leave the house after 7am, traffic… no, gridlock will greet you at your doorstep. All the hood’s Fancargos, Passos, Sientas, Prius and all these boxish funny-looking cars and some tu noisy Subarus here and there are out for roll call.
Come Friday evening, the joints (beer ranges from Sh300 to Sh400) are packed with generous revellers. You step in ( kamares style) before you settle, ‘unaulizwa utakunywa nini’ some ka waiter asks. Or one of our (read mammaz) favourite lines baridi ama warm?
Then they keep coming and the women return the favour—boy, do they twerk and bend over, again like their lives depended on it! Two weeks on…you can leave after 7am comfortably.
The only problem will be fighting and I mean ‘war’ to board a matatu. If you happen to spot a private vehicle, then it can’t be the Passos and if it is, then some car-pulling deal was struck. Come Friday, the joints are near empty, but home pubs (beers from Sh120 to Sh200)? Packed to capacity. Here, no cash is exchanged and if anyone paid cash then they want to ‘box’ some slay queen they came with, otherwise, pens… no biros speak more here, bills, bills and more bills to be paid end month.
At this point, mama mboga will be trending… At the pork butchery, ‘kaquater’ is whispered to the butcher’s ear. And the next person will ‘load’ later’. By the next end month, it’s debts and more debts to pay. Now you know and understand why balling doesn’t last a week. All in a middle-class wonnabe’s month, bruh!