For a campo class to be complete, there are certain peculiar characters who must be present. First and perhaps the most common is a group of mindless folk we’ll call serial absentees. These guys attend classes only when they deem it of great importance; especially days leading up to the exam or CAT, so that they can craft makeshift ‘external storage’ papers they’ll use to cheat during the test.
Normally, lecturers don’t know these guys because the ninjas evade classes the entire semester playing FIFA in gaming kiosks around the campus, while pressuring those who attend to sign on their behalf on the attendance sheets.
One serial absentee in UoN at one time danced in fire after he turned up in week six, went to do an exam and saw the stars, moon, planets, Moses and the burning bush. He was halfway in the exam room with no clue what was going on when he realised he was sitting for an exam with the wrong class!
Another set of characters that is always present is the group of people with long necks and eyes with a vision so sharp, that they can zoom in and read the answer of the person seated a row away! These copy cats, at times also double up as the serial absentees.
They have necks of a giraffe, eyes of an eagle and a vision with the clarity of those cameras socialites use to take the glamorous pictures they put on Instagram (you know those type of cameras that hide pimples and wrinkles and only show dimples? Yes, those ones!) The copycats are also chief organisers of the seating arrangements during exams.
They arrange chopies and distribute them systematically, then place themselves strategically so that they can crane necks and zoom in. One KU copycat apparently got so engrossed in copy pasting that he even copied a number of typos from the chopie’s text! We hope, y’all won’t forget and copy names too!
While everybody else is seemingly going about with their classroom business, there is always that star stuck couple that is always in their own world, the classroom lovebirds.
These Romeos and Juliets hooked up in first year and everybody thought they wouldn’t last two semesters together; now they are approaching the final year still together.
The classroom love birds stay together at all times, sit close to each other and even group themselves together in classroom projects. Annoying is how they broadcast their so called love to everybody else as if they are the ones who invented love!