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Finding ways of addressing pressures of life save families

Last week I was invited at K24PrimeTime news together with two other panelists to discuss the issue of domestic violence. This was after a video of a man from Makueni beating his wife went viral. The question that comes to mind immediately we hear such stories is how someone can do such a thing. Why do men or even some women resort to this?

There could be a myriad of answers. Things that come to mind are the pressures of life, financial stress or job-related stress and issues of unfaithfulness. Indeed, we are living in hard times and the pressure to make it in life can sometimes drive someone to commit such heinous crimes.

When a man is not able to provide for his family, it can be depressing and if not properly dealt with, may lead to him turning his wrath on his loved one or ones. Similarly, for a woman who eloped with a man against her parents’ wishes, when the same man betrays her by having another woman, she can hit back in a way that can be devastating to her man and even children.

We unfortunately deflate our pressures with those who are closest to us. For men, they turn against their spouses, while women turn against their children. Unless we devise mechanisms by which we can address such issues and are willing to come out and talk about them, we will continue hearing such cases.

As men, we need to create forums where men can openly vent and talk about issues that affect them. Our womenfolk are better off because they have many places where they can release steam such as their chamas,
at the salon and generally friends as women tend to “gossip” a lot about their issues.

When you notice your spouse behaving strangely and threatening you, it’s time to take off and seek help. Couples don’t have to wait for things to get this far. As couples, we shouldn’t be afraid to seek counselling services. Those services are there to help us cope up with such situations. We need to surround ourselves with other couples with whom we can openly share our struggles.

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