Having a drink with a girlfriend, Rhoda Bwayo the other day, she picked a call and said something like, “Sasa sweety, kupotea nayo! Aki ile socket toaster imechomeka tena, utacome kurepair kesho?” loosely translated as, ‘Hi sweety, you are so lost! The toaster broke down again, could you come and repair it again tomorrow?”
I asked who the person on the other side was. “Just a friend,” she responded. “An electrician friend?” I asked. “Well, yes, kind of,” she said, her smirk giving away more than her one word answer.
Rhoda, who is in her mid 30’s and a ‘sworn single for life,’ went ahead to justify why she doesn’t need a husband in her life, when she can have various men to help her sort the manly roles in her house.
“See, this guy is my friend with benefits, and sex has nothing to do with it,” she exclaimed.
Rhoda says she has plenty of male friends, but sex is not one of the things that any of them provide. Her male friends range from, the IT guy who fixes her laptop, phone and anything software, the plumber, the electrician, hang-out friend, shoulder to lean on guy, you name it and of course another one for sex.
Look down upon this kind of relationship as much as you want, but unsurprisingly, it does exist. As it turns out, like Rhoda, many single women, freaked out by the idea of a committed relationship or marriage are embracing these kinds of relationships.
And when you find yourself on your own, occasionally overwhelmed by certain chores, or needing guidance on certain things, or someone to simply hang out with, having such a talented pool to call on is a bonus.
This one will always come in handy when you have a broken sink, toilet or burst pipe. In these hard economic times, when even fixing something as simple as the toilet cover could cost you a fortune, why not have that friend who always has the tools and seems to be able to do any kind of home repairs? If he has an eye for you somewhere behind his head, he will definitely always be a phone call away when your faucets starts leaking.
For example, when Rhoda’s toaster broke down, she did not have to scratch her head wondering who would help fix it, her electrician friend Martin, always comes through. Rhoda says Martin does all the wiring in her house. He installed her home theatre, play station and everything else to do with electricity in her house.
The shoulder to lean on
It is beneficial to have a friend to pour your heart to without feeling judged. Cheaper than therapy. This is where this friend with benefits comes in. Abigael Kyule, a marketing executive says one of her friends with benefits is a male friend with whom she has a kind of platonic friendship. “For years, this friend always astounds me by his patience and willingness to at least look like he is listening,” says Abigail.
The handbag or trophy boyfriend
With friends like this, you will never have to worry about finding a plus one. While relationships happen for many reasons, some of them listed above; others are for convenience, love, companionship to desire or to up ones status quo. Trophy or handbag boyfriends fall in the latter category. According to the urban dictionary, a trophy boyfriend is one who a girl is proud to be seen with. This is the kind of guy, good looking and charming, that you would want to show off every chance you get. Get this guys, she is not into you, rather she is with you for the admiration she gets from people or guests at an event when you tag him along.
Abigail says she has had one like that, but he has since gotten into a serious relationship with someone else. “I loved going to social places with him to make myself feel and look good. We cut quite a striking pair when out,” she says, but everything else about the guy was annoying including his vibe and mannerism,” says Abigail