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Of annoying lecturers and random tests!

Just when we assumed we knew every evil plot in their book of wickedness, lecturers have come up with a fresh bag of tricks to finish off campo kids. The plot goes by the deplorable name of RAT…Random Assessment Tests—but we opt to call them Really Annoying Tests.

As the name suggests, these are random tests that will be brought randomly! There will be no prior warning, nor will there be be time to draft mwakenyas! Peeps just turn up for a class, some clueless what unit it is and the lecturer just saunters inside with a set of papers and announces there is a test!

You can imagine, having such on a Monday. Weekend hangovers looming everywhere after a weekend of rugby misadventures in Nakuru! Then, there is that dude who has been out of school having fun and halfway the semester, this is his first class he’s attending—and the lecturer decides to ruin the destiny of everyone by bringing a test!

Tests—no matter how short— should  be announced months in advance so that the guys who have only been reading the phonebook, can drift back to education. The period is important  so that lost souls traverse up and down the streets of campo knocking hostel doors in the middle of the night to borrow notes and draft mwakenyas.

This also creates time for guys to do a “pre-booking” to sit next to nerds and later go into prayer and fasting so that the lecturer does not alter this carefully crafted sitting arrangement. The mantra during this “revision and preparation” time is not Comrades Power. It is “degree ni harambee”.

So as you can see, exams have to be announced months before. Lecturers cannot just turn up for a class—to meet guys who have no clue about anything—and then give them tests. That is like kicking a dead dog. And as usual though, the devil is a liar. These lecturers don’t even allow guys to change their sitting arrangements! Even worse, they stand strategically, like some human CCTVs to thwart any plans to google answers. Here is when you are only allowed to look up for divine intervention, look forward for inspiration but not aside for information! Lecturers need to learn a few things from the Bible. Even Christ himself announced his second coming. Who are you to bring your RAT unannounced? Thunder fire your wickedness!