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Beware of entitled Instagram queens

Avideo of a college girl looking for her soul mate on a local dating show has been making rounds on Internet. She lists out the qualities of her dream guy, which include an iPhone, a car, deep pockets and a penchant for taking her on regular dates. And he must also not be dark skinned because; she “just doesn’t do that”.  Now, there’s every possibility it’s a heavily scripted show, but nevertheless, on a daily basis men are subject to demands from their romantic interests.

We can rightly blame and shame the girl for her blatant entitlement, but only to the extent it has been enabled by men whose preferred route into a woman’s heart, or undergarments, is by meeting her every demand. Many a man exerts himself into the dreaded friend-zone by supplication, as women are turned off by submissive men. Unfortunately, we live in a time where emasculation has been elevated to an art form. Majority of men are under the grossly self-defeating impression that aggressive women, and their sandpaper-like attitudes, are to be tolerated only by strong confident men.

This unnatural imbalance has evolved to degenerate fetishes like femdom where men get pleasure from physical and verbal domination by women. One would at this time argue for individualism on the premise of live and let live, but it’s a bit more complicated than that. In the same way a fuel-fed fire only grows larger, entitlement bolsters privileged attitudes.

A fairly older friend spoke of his embarrassment when his daughter refused his gift of a Toyota car on her 18th birthday, because she could “only go as low as a Mercedes C class.” Another friend, despite my wise (if unsolicited) counsel, went into debt to sustain a picturesque Instagram life for his lady love, who soon left his company for another’s, as soon as his money run out. On dating sites, demands on height, wealth and wit are standard fare. A woman with average looks will still elicit ego-stroking declarations of love as desperate men slide tactfully into her DM in a bid to win her over.

While it’s easy to blame the women, they’re simply taking advantage of a favourable situation. The blame lies squarely with men, both collectively and individually, every time they acquiesce to the demands in exchange for some of her precious validations. Placing your ladylove on a pedestal only leads her to lower your value in her eyes and validate her snarky approach to men in general, who on the other hand are only too willing to reaffirm the delusion of her royal entitlement by virtue of simply being a woman. No wonder every girl nowadays refers to herself as Queen and expects to be treated as such by men lucky enough to be in her presence.

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