So, a self-confessed, serial-cheat picks a random girl at a wedding and does his thing. And being the responsible kind, he has the brains to use a rubber.
However, the appliance of pleasure, for reason we can only leave to speculation, breaks. He ignores the malfunction and finishes the job.
Three days later, he sleeps with his wife, this time without any intervention. Six days afterwards, he develops a rash on his privates and experiences pain when urinating.
So he does what any rational man in a panic would do, seeks help from a traditional healer. The medicineman eases his discomfort, but days later, it is back —with a vengeance.
He is forced to limp to modern medicine where he is diagnosed and treated for an STI at a clinic.
And as luck would have it, he had shared the “infection of sin” with his wife. She left him.
Our protagonist, who we cannot name for legal and ethical reasons, says he became distressed and was burdened with guilt to the point of having a mental breakdown “which led me to become an alcoholic and I lost my job.”
He has now sued the condom manufacturer and Kenya Bureau of Standards (Kebs) for selling him ‘defective goods’. In his petition, he says when he bought the condoms, he believed they would “please” his partner and also protect him fully.
“I was fully aware of the dangers of having unprotected sex and decided to use my favourite brand of condoms being the scented chocolate-flavoured and studded version,” he says in his sworn affidavit.
“At the time, I brushed aside the incident as a non-issue and three days later had sexual intercourse with my wife,” he added.
He also fears that he has been exposed to the HIV virus. He claims that the manufacturer, Kebs and Kenya Revenue Authority allowed a consignment of questionable quality to be sold to unsuspecting Kenyans.
The petitioner avers that use of condoms is one of the most used and trusted methods in reproductive healthcare as it is effective in preventing both pregnancies and STIs.
“The manufacturer, despite knowing that the condoms were substandard, proceeded to market, distribute and sell them in various pharmacies and entertainment joints,” he adds.
He says that Kebs failed in its mandated of inspecting and certifying the imported product for quality. He claims he was fascinated by the various adverts of the brand of condoms which led him to buy and they became his favourite.
“On diverse dates between January and October 2014, I bought the said condoms in different pharmacies, shops and entertainment joints in Nairobi, Naivasha, Nakuru, Kericho and Kisii,” he claims, adding that he was extremely sexually active at the time and that he used the condoms with different women in various towns.
The unprecedented suit raises many moral and interesting legal issues, but perhaps the hardest to answer will be if the condom broke because it was substandard or from other reasons.