While the government is busy dealing with the NYS, maize, sugar, KPC scandals, some online individuals are slowly, but wickedly sneaking in a mini-scandal.
Make no mistake, this one’s a ticking time bomb waiting to explode. Before it does, walk with me—then I’ll have the whistle-blower bragging rights and maybe vie for office (hey, if my people ask me to, who am I to go against their will?)
About a month ago, a friend reached out to yours truly for weave/wig advice. Preferably wig because she doesn’t fancy these human hair everyone spots nowadays. And so, I’m not about to let a sister in need down. It would be rude to ignore that ‘you gat taste’ title she baptised me with.
With my head held higher than Ngirita (NYS slay queen), please tell me you get the connection, wigs? Anyone? OK forget about it. So, I advise about this online shop on Facebook, and the best thing is that they do home deliveries. I give counsel, that I regret giving.
Before we get to that, it’s important that y’all know that, I prefer shopping physically. Only then do I have the ability to see and gauge the quality of hair and if it’s a wig, try it on.
But I went ahead anyway to mislead an innocent soul knowing that she may end up getting a dirty shirt or even stones in the package… or worst nothing. Who would blame them anyway, in a country where people get paid millions for supplying air?
Package delivered. There they were staring back at her, pathetic wigs (supposedly human hair). Did I mention just how photogenic the wigs were? They looked better in photos than they did physically.
Ever heard about the hair that breeds worms? Well, was the mother of them all. She puts it on her head, I sneeze like never before, it feels like three boda boda helmets on her head.
Disappointment galore! At this rate I would have preferred, the dirty shirt or stones or even nothing. I ring the woman with the contact she displayed on Facebook.
“None of my clients has ever complained about my wigs,” she retorts. I’m breathing fire at this point. I must expose her on Buyer Beware, I vow. Now what do we do with three useless wigs? Even my childhood mtush dolls had better hair.
But I’m not alone on this, someone ordered some Gucci cologne, she got NGucci…well, the N must have been silent, but I’m undeterred. Ain’t giving up yet. If you ask me, this should be the biggest scandal right now.
With my otherwise good name (she gat taste) compromised, I’ll expose these online shops who dupe poor Kenyans. We might have been hush about this, but it’s time these corrupt individuals knew big brother’s watching!