For a country that does little to reward thespians and artistes, Kenya has a weird affinity for circuses. Yes, that travelling company of acrobats and clowns whose biggest arsenal is a bag of tricks. Animals such as baby elephants that can climb ladders or do such other crazy stuff form a big part of the act.
I am not sure that we have had that sort of circus yet, but we are developing our very own, which we can upscale to a national entrepreuneurial endeavour, complete with a degree in Liberal Arts, specialising in Circus Acts.
I love circuses. They provide comic relief from depressing political menu in our media and tantrums by politicians who foam at the mouth, stabbing the air and waving fists at real and imagined enemies.
Consider this, about 60 MPs have never uttered a word from the floor of the House. Of course they take gold for being loud out there in public, but is that what we elected them to do?
I would hate to imagine that the blokes you and I pay through the nose merely sit in the august House and belch from the five-course meals offered at the restaurant in bunge, making technical appearances, just to earn the day’s allowance.
And just the other day, the country was treated to yet another show, in which a city trader was roughed up, undressed in public and his jacket used to wipe roadside kerb. Well, almost.
I have a sneaky feeling the blokes who treated us to this horrible drama are an offshoot of those other infamous celebrities referred euphemistically to as “Men in black”.
You surely must recall them. They are the fellows who, during a certain party’s primaries, emerged from nowhere at Kasarani Gymnasium and overturned tables, kicked chairs around and generally had a field day causing mayhem.
Registration clerks scampered for dear life and tables and chairs flew. It was a scene from Hollywood. The drama was so well orchestrated it ended before anyone knew what had hit them. And the guys vanished to where they had emerged, the shadows.
It appears this sort of circus has been devolved, so that a news conference at a nice, city three-star hotel can be turned into a fiasco within seconds.
It was just like the Men in Black but executed by a plainclothes branch of the same group. What’s more, it was relayed live on TV. Those are called guts, or a deficiency of wisdom, depending on your angle of vision.
I hear at least five of the blokes have been arrested and hauled before courts, which places a caveat of sorts on how much we can discuss them. But they didn’t look like the sort of fellows you want to have a tiff with on a nice Saturday when you are thanking yourself for a job well done.
And if you think our variety of circus is over, you don’t know Kenyans. Just when we thought we had forgotten the Miguna Miguna saga, it is back. You can call it a sequel.
His return to Kenya, hopefully this time with (proper) papers must form nice fodder for another novel, after the now famous “Peeling off the Mask”.
You can’t have forgotten the sight of that “barrister” (if you refer to him as a lawyer, he will ask you which school you went to!) half-dragging a small platoon of cops at JKIA who had to use all their resources to subdue him just before he was deported.
Well, Miguna has now been unmasked. Raila said two days ago the guy is his own worst enemy. Either way, he is on record as the first person on earth to slap a plane as he yelled, “I am not boarding!”
Guys, get ready to fasten your seat belts! You are boarding! Wait…you have boarded!
The writer is the special projects editor, People Daily