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Soft porn on stage, who’s to blame?

It started with fans throwing their underclothes on stage to show their love for artistes and celebrities. It moved to twerking, and now it has turned explicit, if the last few incidences are anything to go by. But is it a case of women being mishandled or are they willing partakers?

Sandra Wekesa @andayisandra

Early this month, Jamaican star Kemar Donaldson alias Kranium was in town for his performance at the Free Your Mind Concert.

The Can’t Believe hit singer, branded as the ladies man’ is one of the biggest dancehall artiste in Jamaica performed for the very first time in Kenya and didn’t disappoint.

However, it was how he handled a female fan during the April 6 concert, that stood out. He lifted the curvaceous woman to his groin and she grinded on him.

Even before the matter was put to rest, a week later, controversial rapper Timothy Owuor alias Timmy Tdat came under fire after a video of him raising a female fan’s dress on stage surfaced on the Internet; while performing at the Mr Eazi’s concert (hype fest) at Ngong Racecourse.

The Kasabun hit singer has always been known for such behaviour, only that this time round he might have gone way too far. And the woman went further; she jumped on the laps of the artiste who carried over to the edge of the stage and laid her on top of the sound system before embarking on his raunchy dance routine.

In the two instances, the audience was treated to what looked like soft porn on stage. Such behaviour has elicited a lot of debate, especially on social media.

Sauti Sol’s publicist, Anyiko Owoko, was vexed by the whole situation. “I will be the first to correct something that I find wrong. I am tired of male artistes mishandling women on stage and what @timmytdat has done at his performance at Mr Eazi’s Concert is unacceptable!

He called up a woman on stage to dance with him,” he posted. There have been numerous allegations on how women are mishandled on stage by artistes. Others felt that the female fans appear to be willing partakers of the artiste’s ratchet and sexually explicit performance.

This always ends up with various questions being asked; could it be that our women no longer have moral values and do not respect themselves or are these two a case of psycho fans?

Also, at what point do artistes need to draw a line with their fans? Amani Counselling Centre Psychologist, Esther Mbau faults women for going too far. “Why would you climb on stage and begin to dance in such a manner,” she poses. She also has a bone to pick with the artistes.

“Artistes also have a major role to play in this. Anytime a fan, a woman to be precise, wants to dance with you, it’s best to draw a line. It’s obscene to dance seductively in front of a crowd.

In Timmy’s case, he did the wrong thing— flipping her dress, it diminished her, which is not good at all,” she notes. She warns people to beware of mob psychology.

“Anytime people are gathered in a group, you tend to be hyped. You might get carried away and end up doing wrong things you may regret later on,” she advises. “All choices have consequences; it’s not safe to publicly do some things, I mean in that case you are grown up, not a teenager.

Not that I am trying to encourage teenagers to do such things, but when it gets to the point the urge becomes too much, you need to put on your self-control armor,” she adds.

She approves that many at times, artistes always mishandle fans. This is because fans don’t know how to be assertive, despite the many talks on self-respect. Many people still don’t know how to stick to their ground.

“We have all been taught how assertiveness works, it’s always good to say ‘no’ and stick to your answer. You actually feel great doing that because you end up respecting yourself even more. Jumping on top of a man in public because you are his fan is not the right thing to do; it’s always good to have limits,” she says.

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