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Millennial men and their cluelessness in seducing women

Whatever happened to the ‘are you taken,’ question when a man was interested in you? No funny panya routes—straightforward to the point. Men who are always ready and say it like it is without drawing maps on the floor. Before, it was the girl who drew tumaps on the floor while chewing hard on their nails.

I swear I’m not kidding, but these guys don’t have the nerve to approach a woman anymore. I know one who drew all seven continents and even cities in each. He was about to draw the other planets when one of the friends intervened. Hmm, these millennials. They’ll either send a friend (girlfriend) or the bartender and if you find a serious sissy, he’ll bribe his drunk friend to vibe you, who’ll lure you wherever they were, then somewhere in between the convo, he’ll disappear and you’ll realise he was chatting you on behalf of the friend.

It gets worse. Then there’s the type who’ll come on you all right, but then they’ll go… ‘Are you available to talk at night ama someone will fry me?’ Or they say something like Naeza piga simu usiku ama italeta shida?’ Or do you live alone? Or I’d want to take you out, but sitaki kuchapwa. They’re as irritating as they come. But why don’t you man up and ask? Better still, stop asking that annoying question. We’ve decoded it already, get creative and find a different way of doing it.

You know what? Just stop asking it at all. Instead of taking all these panya routes that lead nowhere, take her out, spoil her, you know that chivalry nonsense? Do it. Open doors, pull seats, check on her constantly, surprise her with gifts, make her laugh heck take her to salon and watch her get that pedi and mani (I’m not taking questions please). Frown all you want, but those who know what they want will tell you how important it is to fatten your prey first.

Focus! Then, just then…. single, married, divorced, widower, senior bachelorette, player, cougar, whatever, man…she’ll decide if she’s single or not!

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