Betty Muindi @BettyMuindi
It is the festive season. Over the years, this is usually a time of reckoning for side chics. They are left in the cold while the ‘women of the house’ are guaranteed pamper time with their borrowed men. This was then, but not any more.
Men, too, have learnt the art of multitasking. Mpango wa kandos, as confessed by some in a popular women group meant for side dishes, have refused to have a black Christmas. Yes! You heard it right ladies. While you pack, she packs.
You board Fly 540, she boards and sits five seats behind or in front of you, you check in, so does she. You take room number 11, she is in 22. The entire trip fully funded by your dear husband. Mercy Wangui attests to this.
She has been seeing her married lover for the last three years. But every Christmas until the New Year, she has had to either stay at her one-bedroom apartment in Langata, all lonely or visit her grandmother in the village.
All the while, she would be snooping through her lover and his wife’s Facebook and Instagram pages to get glimpses of shared photos of the trip showing what a loving family man her cheating lover is. “Him and his wife have three children.
In 2015, they went on holiday to Dubai. Sometimes, they would post photos of all five of them playing happy family and it broke my heart. But what made me cry was when they took another photo of the two at a fancy jewellery shop choosing a ring,” she remembers.
Wangui on the other hand sat on the couch watching reruns of Housewives of Atlanta, Gossip Girl and Pretty Little Liers between coffee, snacks, alcohol and drinks. But once the holiday was over, she sternly warned his lover about leaving her behind so miserable while he and his family had fun abroad.
She insisted that next time he would have to tag her along if he wants the relationships to continue. He obliged. So, last year, when his lover embarked on the year’s Christmas trip, he also paid for her air ticket as well as all her expenses for their South Coast trip.
“I left Nairobi a day before they did. Booked a hotel about 500 metres away from where they would be staying,” she narrates. She, however, admits that it is not easy. “It is not exactly a bright idea. At least the previous holidays, I only had to drool over the photos miles apart. This time, I had to watch live from a distance as they did all the lovey-dovey stuff.
I remember one time, they were put on the spot by a certain group of tourists compelling them to kiss. That was the longest kiss I have ever watched in my life,” she chuckles. The upside? Wangui says she, especially enjoyed the moments when her lover would sneak out on his wife and rush to her hotel.
“He would tell his wife he wants to run an errand or have a drink at the hotel bar only for us to meet up for our erotic escapades,” she says. Just a thrill This year, they are going to an undisclosed holiday destination, somewhere in Nanyuki and Wangui cannot wait for beautiful moments again, although she is not sure if his lover’s wife will mark her face.
So, is cheating getting more complicated or is it the world? Christmas Day, was once the most family-revered day of the year. Now mistresses are putting their feet down. They are refusing to let their married lovers celebrate with their real families, but want to tag along, even if treated as a top secret.
Sociologist Edward Sirengo notes that two people who are involved in an illicit affair tend to go to dangerous levels to find more thrill regardless of the consequences this could bring.
However, he says that not all men can go to such levels, especially if they truly value their families. “Such a man is a fool, he does not even know what he wants, it is his vision and the thrill that comes with being with another woman that rules. He will only regret after he is caught and is left by his deeply betrayed wife,” he says.