Hi Achokis. I’m a guy aged 35 years. Recently, my new girlfriend and I were having a leisure drive on Nairobi – Nakuru highway and ended up at my parents’ place unannounced.
We were well received and my mum hit it off with my girlfriend. After that visit, mum has been calling me inquiring about that girl. I know that she is excited for me since she has been praying that I get married soon.
What shocked me the other day is that she called her and they chatted for long. She even insisted that I take her home for Christmas. I’m getting scared of this as I haven’t really made up my mind concerning marrying this girl, yet my family really likes her. I’m confused, what do I do?
Our parents want the best for us. For a man who has completed college and has a job, what more would a parent be expecting. You guessed right, marriage. It might not be your number one priority now, but most probably, it’s their great concern bearing in mind that you are 35 years old.
Your trip home gave them hope that something is happening in your life and they are not about to let it go, especially if they like the girl. Taking a girlfriend or boyfriend home is usually a big thing. You don’t just take anyone home to meet your parents, especially if they are not the liberal type.
You have raised an expectation on their part, which will lead to a serious disappointment if not met. You, therefore, need to sit your parents down, especially your mum, and let her know that you are not ready to commit as yet.
That will help low their expectations even though they still hope and pray that things happen between you two. You have also raised your girlfriend’s expectations by taking her home to your parents.
In most cases, you don’t show up with a woman at your father’s doorstep unless you are ready to commit. You need to make things clear on your side defining the relationship so that your girlfriend’s expectations don’t escalate.
Look for a way of passing that message to her otherwise she might end up getting hurt should things not go the way she expected. On your part, you need not allow yourself to be under any pressure to marry her simply because your parents like her. Of course, it is always a good sign if a guy’s family, especially his mother likes his chic.
That stamp of approval is massive as that is what guys want. However, this should not mean that simply because they like her you marry her.
You need to marry who you like and when you want. Ultimately it is you who will stay with that woman in your house. So, be careful to make that decision soberly and not under pressure.