We love them and because we don’t want to hurt them, we sometimes protect them by keeping certain things to ourselves. Nobody wants to lose their parents’ trust and have them look at you differently, so some things are better left unsaid, writes Cynthia Mukanzi
1. You don’t want to be like them
It doesn’t mean they are bad people or they are terrible at doing life. Your ideas about life may not marry, but some parents never want to accept or understand that you want to carve a different path.
Tell an African parent that you don’t want to have a child or get married and witness the wrinkling shock on their faces. It could kill them; well, not literally, but be prepared for a sermon.
2. You down more bottles than they know
Of course, nobody wants to tell their dad that they drink more than he thinks he knows. Sometimes, you don’t even want them to know you drink or smoke anything at all regardless of your age.
As far as they are concerned, you are still a good kid. Not that getting a bit tipsy means you are a wreck; they may not look at it this way.
3. The number of (ex) partners you’ve been with
There comes a time when some parents start worrying about your future when they don’t see you with a man or woman. They don’t know that you’ve tried a billion of them in the past, but nothing seemed to work.
Please keep that to yourself. Just tell them you are still looking. Keep them clueless about your past. Only introduce them to your significant other when you find one and are ready to do so. Otherwise, don’t sweat it.
4. You hate some of the stuff they buy you
This is where you pretend to be thrilled, but genuinely say thank you. If it is a shirt you hate, but can’t say it to their face lest you seem ungrateful, just wear it indoors, especially when they are home with you.
The fact that they thought of you is sweet even though it would have been nice of them to consult you before purchasing that self-motivational book. It’s the thought that counts, they say.
5. They can be annoying
You know how they always want a bunch of things, but will only call out for one at a time. Jeez; it takes all the life you’ve lived to stop yourself from exploding. Why are they like that?
How about those times they keep on calling to remind you that it is not safe to be out late. We love that they are caring, but sometimes it can be annoying. Or when they hurt you, but will not accept it and apologise.
6. Relationship troubles
We do not always run to them when going through relationship turmoil. How can you even do it when in the first place, they do not know that you are dating. Maybe they expect you to be celibate and stay off premarital sex. Lol.
7. They embarrass the life out of you
It’s like that time they reminded you in public how much money you owe them since they paid your bus fare for two weeks when your pay cheque took long.
Maybe that is not so sinister or how they dress on some occasions, but when they chew loudly, they make you cringe in horror. Imagine such embarrassment at a family function or when you have guests over for dinner.
8. You don’t owe them
Sometimes they expect a lot forgetting that they created you. I mean, nobody writes a letter pleading to be born. So, in reality, they owe us more than we do. If we could, we would remain babies and be taken care of for eternity. There are big babies in some adults though.
9. You’ll always need them
Parents think that their children don’t need them at certain stages in life, but they are wrong. Even in adulthood, we always need them, but because we want them to be proud of us and not worry, we put on a mask and just do life like we know. We hide our struggles and just keep going.
10. Your friend’s mother cooks better
Just be grateful that there is food on the table. They make the effort to take care of bills, feed you and cloth you so being sensitive is the least you can do. Instead of hurting them by proclaiming how they could use some culinary tips from your bestie’s mother, how about you do that and get in the kitchen. You can cook the food how you like it or shut up and eat what is before you.