Drugs are back in vogue in high places. For the past several weeks, politicians have been talking about narcotics. But in the raging debate, no one mentioned one particularly addictive drug that Kenyans are hopelessly hooked to. It is called the last-minute rush drug.
The Kenya Revenue Authority is a reliable witness that Kenyans are addicted to the drug. And so are supermarkets and bookshops.
But no one is better placed to testify about our addiction to the last-minute rush drug than the Independent Electoral and Boundaries Commission (IEBC).
When the IEBC kicked off mass registration of new voters on January 16, Kenyans were informed that they had only 30 days to find their way into the voters’ register if they hope to participate in the August 8 General Election by more than just heckling and cheering.
Knowing that horses on steroids cannot drag a typical Kenyan to a registration centre before the last day, politicians mounted such shameless mobilisation campaigns hoping to change the junkie. They threatened, cajoled, ridiculed and bribed.
They paraded the usual bogeymen in the hope that laggards would be frightened enough to hurry to the registration centres but wapi? For 29 days, registration clerks were spending more time on their phones than on BVR machines.
Then on February 14, the last-minute addicts crawled out of their procrastination dens and jammed registration centres.
They relished the adrenaline rush to beat the deadline, the heady feeling of being in a long queue, the light-headedness caused by the fear of being locked out…
It was while they were in this state of intoxication that a court spoiled the fun by ordering the extension of the registration period by two more days.
The following day, registration clerks were idle. Then the court gave another two-day extension. The addicts now have to wait until tomorrow to get their fix. Someone please ban the last-minute rush drug.