In my experience, I have come to realise that as long as I treat my wife as a mate, conflicts prevail. Whenever I treat her the way I would my daughter, she warms up and glows with such irresistible love and care that I am baffled.
It isn’t a wonder that most people ensconced in the plethora of love call each other baby. There is within each one of us a desire to be like children, at least in some circumstances. In our case, I realised that my expectations of my wife became less each time I saw her as my little girl needing protection, care, tenderness and love.
I was always at hand to listen and to help. This brought out a beauty in her that was shrouded in a veil. It’s an amazing discovery. Where she made mistakes, I would treat her as someone that needed encouragement and motivation for growth, rather than someone that needed hours of angry lectures.
This has enriched our marriage beyond my wildest imagination. I got to the realisation that a marriage relationship is not an equilibrium of character and behavioural disposition, but an unbalanced existence of two people who can only be genuinely happy when the leader sacrifices.
This sacrifice is akin to what a loving father would do for his precious daughter. Our expectations of our daughters are usually reasonable and geared towards their development and success. Honestly, this isn’t how husbands view their wives.
Most husbands are full of regrets and disappointments as they wonder why their spouses tend to manifest so many erratic behavioural patterns. I recently asked my wife why she so cherished being treated like a girl; a little girl in the arms of a loving father.
She promptly said that deep within the heart of every woman is the desire to be raised and not criticised, praised and not judged, taught and not appraised, spoken to rather than grilled. She said very many other meaningful things that brought tears to my eyes. I would love to be treated the way she so eloquently put it.
This is why I have chosen to treat her as my firstborn daughter, yet love her as my beautiful woman. I have chosen to mentor her as my child, yet relate to her as my equal. Cheer her up as I would a student, yet share with her as my lover. Talk to her as my tender baby, yet work with her as a brilliant partner.