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To my university freshers…

September means a lot in Campus. It marks the end of a mass exodus from the campus, which takes place after mind-boggling exams in August, where comrades go home to seek peace after being subjected to intellectual torture in the exam room.

It also marks a new era in campo, where naïve freshers finally land to the delight of hungry vultures who have been hungrily anticipating the young beauties.

As usual I will play the good guy and give a word of advice to these young lasses who are now jumping up and down bragging how they are set to join campus, not knowing that they could soon get pregnant and drop out before Christmas!

When you join these glorified colleges, kindly try to blend in. The worst a fresher can do is exhibit the greenness and the naivety of a fresher.

If you can be easily handpicked from a crowd, you will soon be entangled in a middle of a web by a horde of idle certificate guys lying that they are third year engineering geeks and it’s not long before the singular you is promoted to a plural! For the first semester, just blend in.

Lose that village accent and high school sheng before you reach the gate! If you have carried long skirt suits thinking you have come to an official setting, no thank you! Preserve those till when you begin visiting your mother-in-law!

Or in third year when you go for internship. Just pass along a place called Ngaara and buy those hideous leggings that blaspheme the US flag.

Yeah they will feel odd at first but with time, you will be the supplier of such in your campus! Then there is that metallic box that you have owned since you went to boarding school back in primary school.

Well, that beloved piece of metal that has devotedly protected your little earthly belongings is now not important anymore. Yes, things get stolen but here, it’s class before safety.

Get a classy suitcase when coming…don’t embarrass yourself with a jua kali box that will make you look like a cadet headed to a training camp!

Going to an institution of higher learning is always met with excitement from friends and family. However, here we do not have colourful ceremonies. Just a short orientation and you shall be set off to a jungle where hungry foxes are awaiting with bated breath.

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