Trust fellow MCA Alfalfa to come up with unique ideas. During the governor’s inner circle meeting last week, Alfalfa came up with another of his hare-brained schemes. (How Alfalfa is a member of the governor’s think tank yet he has openly declared his interest in the governor’s seat is a mystery I am yet to unravel).
“Why don’t we encourage local investors to put their money in our county?” he said. “But surely Bwana Alfalfa, You know we don’t have many wealthy people in our county,” the governor remarked. “Well, we may not have them now, but in a few days’ time, this county is going to boast of thousands of potential investors,” the man who calls himself the ‘digitallest’ of all MCAs said coolly.
We all were at a loss. This man seemed to know something we did not. “Gentlemen,” he continued, “Have you not heard that teachers will receive colossal amounts of money at the end of this month? How many do we have in our county? Thousands!
Aren’t these potential investors?” The governor gave the MCA a I-am-proud-to-have-you-here look. I too thought that was a bright idea but would dare not show it openly for obvious reasons. After some deliberations, we agreed to quickly arrange for a local investors’ forum targeting mainly teachers.
This was to be treated as a matter of urgency since we needed to catch the teachers before they made other plans with ‘our money’ as Alfalfa now referred to it. There being no time for committees and all, Alfalfa was charged with the task of coming up with a programme and of course a budget for the event.
In his usual magnanimity, the governor offered to provide funds arguing that this was a worthy cause. Trust Alfalfa to be efficient when given the leeway and especially where funds are involved. Within a day, the MCA had everything laid out, though I suspect he had already planned everything long before even suggesting the idea.
The governor summoned us once more to look at the plans. To my shock, I was nowhere in the programme. Instead, Alfalfa had included his cronies to run the show.
Let alone the obscenely hefty allowance each official was to get, what particularly galled me was that my chief rival, Judasio, was to be the emcee during the event.
Judasio is one fellow who wants to oust me come 2017- or even now. He and Alfalfa have an alliance that is causing me no end of worry. “Why don’t we have only elected leaders serve as officials during the event?” I asked, unable to hide my disappointment.
“Bwana Gwinso, Let’s keep politics out of development issues,” Afalfa retorted. Needless to say, his plans were accepted and he was given the go ahead to organise the event. Well, there are things I can take lying down, but this was not one of them.
There was no way I could dig my political grave by sitting and watching my rival win the favour with such important opinion leaders as teachers. I called one of the teachers’ union leaders and after congratulating him on their achievement, went straight to the point.
“Do not allow anybody to play around with your hard-earned quid. Many will come saying, “Investment, investment. Beware Mwalimu!” “Mheshimiwa, just be plain. What exactly do you mean?”
I went on to tell him that some MCAs were eyeing their expected boom and had hatched a plan to fleece teachers of it by purporting to organise an investment forum. “Mwalimu, I am telling you all this not to incite you but to give you insight,” I said to him.
“Please do not tell anybody that I told you all this.” Satisfied that the union leader would keep our talk secret, I made sure I warded off any suspicion by keeping in constant touch with MCA Alfalfa to keep abreast with the plans for the event.
“Do not worry, Bwana Gwinso,” he kept telling me. “You know when I put my heart to something, for me it is no longer a life and death issue, it is more serious than that! Rest assured things will go on smoothly.” Meanwhile, I also kept close contact with the teachers.
“Mheshimiwa, my members are mad that someone is already planning for money they are not even sure of getting. They have vowed to not only boycott the forum but to disrupt it!” declared the union boss. Now what was this I have gotten myself into? I can see pure trouble ahead. Ni kubaya!